i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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