The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
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Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
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Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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