somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
