Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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