I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
