Plan B is the new Plan A
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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