I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
