I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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