i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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