I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize