she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
my poor anus
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
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