9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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