I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
