I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
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his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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