Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
