I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
