woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
