You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
