wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You can't just leave with hair like that
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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