Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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