Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
