Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
