i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Randomize
