just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You were trust falling into bushes
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
