dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
