I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
