new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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