Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
