Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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