Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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