Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
