you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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