So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
