I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
