I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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