I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
