He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
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Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
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Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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