He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
