Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
