i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
