the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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