So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
