a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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