end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
