Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
