did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
