Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize