doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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