So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
