D3 body, D1 cock
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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