My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
