ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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