she is the kim kardashian of front butts
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
