She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
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