He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I need to calm my uterus...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
