yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
