Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you have to choose: penises or morals?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
