OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
