She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
