Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
