You're my little dorito
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
When did angry sex become our thing?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
