Small penises have feelings too.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Randomize
