fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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