Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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