i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
