did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
