So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize